Have you ever felt that you were not heard or your colleagues did not value or respect your experiences or perspectives?
A scenario of not being heard may look like this: you made a suggestion to the group, and they moved on with the conversation as if they didn’t hear you. A minute later, someone said the exact same thing you had said earlier, and the group responded to this person as if it was the first time they heard such a “brilliant” idea!
Running into this type of situation can be frustrating. Some tend to think that it’s the person’s authority that determines how much they are heard.
Perceived authority comes in many forms. People with perceived authority usually hold higher positions in organizations; they may have great reputation or rapport with the audience, or they may be considered more experienced.
Aside from perceived authority, there are other factors at play. For face-to face conversations, research shows that:
- 8% of what people hear come from our words;
- 37% comes from how we express the words (tone, pitch, speed, et cetera); and
- 55% come from our body language or non-verbal cues.
There are many ways we can articulate our messages so that they can be fully received and understood. Regardless of the route we take, being able to access our sovereignty is critical.
A commonly overlooked factor that affects our success in communication is our electromagnetic or energy field. It affects our psyche and our ability to access our innate potential.
Within our energy field, there are multiple energy centers in the body. When these centers are filled with interferences, our words and messages get distorted; it is like static in radio signals. Here is a brief explanation of these important energy centers:
- The first center affects our level of psychological safety.
- The second center influences how connected we feel with others.
- The third center governs whether we think we need to control or manipulate others to get what we want.
- The fourth center is about whether we feel we are enough or not (an example is imposter syndrome).
Can you see how we cannot be great communicators if we feel insecure, think we don’t belong, want to control others or doubt the value of our experience and ideas?
We can be very knowledgeable about communication and technical skills, but if our psychological foundation is not intact, all the knowledge we have will not lead to effective communication.
The concept I lay out here is not just about communication; it’s about many situations in life!
In 2010, I developed a skin rash around my neck and throat area. It was itchy and painful. I remember waking up almost nightly because of the yellow liquid crystals oozing out of my skin.
There were speculations that I was allergic to something in my new home. The allergy tests came back negative. Other than symptomatic relief, my health care providers were not able to eradicate the cause of this rash!
This situation went on from October to March. The skin rash started to dissolve soon after I spoke to people in authority about professional ethical issues in two different organizations.
I spoke up because I was not willing to be threatened and put up with unfair business practices any longer. I wasn’t thinking of the skin rash when I chose to speak up.
That experience showed me what it was like to use my voice and hold my own. It took me months to resolve the internal conflicts and pluck up the courage to speak up so that I could be freed from the ridiculous arrangements.
We all are given many opportunities to connect with our sovereignty. It is a matter of recognizing those are openings for us to tap into our authentic power.
Next time you feel frustrated about not being heard, consider the following:
- How can you increase your confidence when delivering your messages? Can you think of a role model and learn to emanate their qualities?
- Are you so emotionally charged that you are triggering others’ defensive mechanisms? Do you have a way to regulate your emotions?
- If you are holding back, is there a bigger reason or cause that will make it worth taking the risk to express what matters to you?
Once you gain greater awareness, take the next step to reclaim your vocal power!
Related content:
- Let Your Intuition Complement the Rational Mind
- How Expectations Serve and Limit Us
- Am I Doing Enough- Imposter Syndrome During COVID-19
- Chasing the Imposter Syndrome Away
