College looks different for everyone. For me, it looked like a lot of studying, attending classes, working, involvement with student organizations, and personal growth. I still have one semester left to go, but this past semester has been quite different from others. For once, I’m looking into a future where there is no set timeline for me. For years, I would walk into my advisor’s office, and they would hold my hand and guide me towards taking the right classes to ensure I graduate college on time. Now, it feels like my hand is gradually being let go to write my own timeline and life plan. I have begun to ask the big questions like “what do I really want to do with my life?” “Where do I want to work?” “Where do I want to live?” “Is graduate school an option?” And much more. The big questions can be summarized into one “what next?”
Honestly, trying to write the answers to those questions have been scary. This is just my experience, but I can imagine I am not the only one that has felt or is feeling this way. So, I just want to offer some words of encouragement from lessons I have learned and I’m still learning.
If writing your answers to the big questions is too hard, try drawing or painting:
Like most writers, we could suffer from writer’s block when trying to write our life plan. I had spent time in college dreaming of when college would be over. Now, that reality is staring me in the face, and it is almost as if I had forgotten all I dreamt about. There is a reason people often ask where you “see” yourself in x number of years. There is a visual component to our plans, which is typically easier to imagine. Here’s an experiment you could do. Next time you are faced with a big question, draw or paint the life you want. From the picture you have created write down the answer that not only fits into that picture, but makes it come alive. What’s the difference? Anything could fit into a picture if we really tried. However, very few/specific things could enhance a picture or make it more beautiful than it previously was.
You will probably not live the life you painted, and that’s okay:
I know I just wrote a paragraph telling you to paint a picture but hear me out. There are 2 types of people when it comes to drawing out life plans. I have been both types at different points in my life. There are those that refuse to draw their life plan out of fear that it will not become a reality. Then, there are those that spend time crafting their future to every detail because it gives some illusion of control. For the former, I must admit refusing to draw is the safe option; don’t have any dreams/expectations, take life as it comes, and you won’t be disappointed. For the latter, the courage to dream brings a lot of excitement and direction to life. However, what happens when you are not able to live that picture? In trying to paint my picture, I found a middle ground. What if I allowed myself to dream not just once, but every day? What if I dared to paint a beautiful picture with the tools I’ve been given and simply adjusted as some colored pencils were added to my collection and some even taken away. This way, I had a picture that kept me excited and allowed me to answer the big questions. Still, I knew I had the freedom to change that picture or keep painting as I grew, learned more or things simply didn’t go as planned.
There may be no one holding your hand, but there are people still walking beside you:
Earlier, I mentioned how I feel like my hand is gradually being let go to draw my own life plan. While this is true, the fact that no one is holding your hand doesn’t mean you are alone. Over the past few months, I’ve had to talk to a lot of family, peers and mentors seeking advice on next steps. Reaching out for help or advice isn’t always easy but it helps you see multiple perspectives that will help you dream better. While most conversations ended with “those are all good options, so you can’t go wrong” I had so much peace knowing that there are people walking beside me as I make these decisions, ready to offer support and guidance.
There’s a lot more I could say, but I just want to end by affirming any other SWEster going through a similar journey. You are capable! You are capable of dreaming and you have the tools to paint a picture. You are so talented that you can paint a very beautiful picture even with the most ridiculous art kit. I have seen amazing artworks created with a variety of colors. I have seen equally beautiful artworks created with just a pencil. In the meantime, a beautiful response to a “what next” question you don’t know the answer to could be: “I don’t know. I’m still in the process of painting the picture of what I want for my life, and I haven’t gotten to that part yet. When I get there though, I know it’ll be great and I’ll be sure to let you know!”
